Fair-Weather Friends OR Too Hard to Handle?

Fair-weather friend- 'A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. A friend who only sticks by you when things are going well.'

 So that's the quick definition of a 'fair-weather' friend.  And I have found myself asking, do I have 'fair-weather friends, or is this too hard to handle for some of them?'

I  understand that people react to  difficult situations in varying ways.  I foolishly assumed (and you know where that leads) that if I found myself in a difficult situation that my friends would be there for me to count on, cry with and lean on.  Unfortunately that has not been the case during this illness and I am slowly realizing that things are not just black and white, but instead there's an entire array of different shades of gray. 

What I have found is that people, close friends and acquaintances have all reacted differently during my time of crisis, even my own family members. I've been hurt by the lack of response from close friends and family.  Initially their lack of reaction baffled me.  Not that I expected everyone to stop in at all times, but some sign that they were thinking of me and wishing me well would have been nice, but nothing.

 On the upside I have been AMAZED by the overwhelming support from others, including some whom I've never met. Once again, I do realize that people respond differently in time of need.  I believe that most  want to help and make themselves useful.   My husband, daughters and I have been blessed to be the recipients of that innate need to help our fellow human beings.  The meals to my family, the car pools, the  flowers and delicious baskets of fruits and snacks to brighten our days have all been wonderful gestures.  But so have the cards to let me know that someone is praying for me, the Facebook, text and phone messages ( although I may not have returned them all). The conversations to lift my spirits- Every way to let me know that someone was thinking about me and my family was deeply appreciated.

What has taken me months to realize is that people carry their own baggage when it comes to times like these. Past illnesses, fear of over stepping boundaries, feeling helpless, and just plain life 'getting in the way.'  For these and many other reasons people may at times stay at bay during times of need.  However, I can't help to wonder, is it too hard to handle, or do some people simply not want to get involved when there's a little too much 'baggage?'

 I've learn from these experiences that any way you can give of yourself helps.  Many times it's that one simple call that's made to say, "I'm here, I'm listening, I care" that has made all the difference.